Internal Spirit Box: "Faith" "Hope"
Mythic Oracle says, to shake away old foundations and have faith.
Hekate through the Guardian of the Night tarot says, Queen of Cups, Page of Wands , and The World
"Don't focus on your anxiety and stress at the moment. The problem is being taken care of. Relax. Focus on your family. Focus on your business. Relax and enjoy this day."
Been a rough year for most folks financially, hasn't it? In the beginning of the year my husband got a better job, except it's commission pay, and so we went through January and February by stretching his last pay check from December, and the scraps from the last stimulus. We just got a refund two days ago and were relieved to be able to pay our rent and all of the late fees.
Well, good ole technology, our payment didn't go through. The Classist landlord targeted me, despite that I don't deal with the finances. Pressure the wife kind of tactic. I'm a SAHM, I take care of the kids (and my psychic business). The finances fall to my husband, because he's a math whiz and I have dyslexia and dyscalculia. Yesterday, the landlord treated me like a damn liar and a crook, which as an Aries who doesn't tolerate power abusing bullies, it took me a lot to not tear him a new one. My husband's been in contact with the property manager and we worked everything out, and here this dude is threatening me, saying that he's getting pissed off, he's going to see the judge today, and just being an asshole. Painting all of his renters with one brushstroke--we ain't never gave yall problems, but you're gonna turn around and treat us like criminals? I've been super stressed out because of what happened yesterday. It's been years since we've faced an eviction, and I hate being in this position. I hate being at the mercy of assholes in power. I was so stressed and anxious yesterday that I'm surprised that I didn't have an attack, although it felt like I was going to vomit.
However, old me would've handled my stress in a toxic way and taken it out on everyone around me...and myself. I haven't been doing that. That's old and toxic. I've been doing a lot of shadow work healing, checking myself--my thoughts and actions, and practicing self discipline. I have not been lashing out and projecting. I have been extremely stressed out and spending a lot of time endless scrolling, but I've made massive strides in how I handle stress and anxiety.
I did a spell and a prayer to get the rent paid quickly and smoothly. This stress ain't going away until it's paid. I'm trying to de-stress and calm down, but I'm focusing more on not being like my dad right now. Despite everything, that is a pretty big win. I've been working on my temper for most of my life. I do have that to be grateful for and proud of.
Rent is going to be paid today. I have made big strides in my shadow healing. Rejoice.